Hi Ya Kids,

I know all of us on the Showgram this year were thinking of you guys on Thanksgiving and are so grateful we’re in touch via our website. Thanks for hanging in with us.

Pam and I spent the holiday with her Mom and Dad in Florida. If you read my blog about the Tofurkey making it through airport security – no problem! I put it (frozen) in my suitcase. I did get stopped by the TSA though and had my carry-on searched. Why? There were 2 zip-lock bags of Pam’s homemade (also frozen) Perogis in there. The guy running the X-Ray couldn’t figure out what he was seeing. The lady searching my bag held them up and said, “What on earth are these?” “Potato Dumplings”, I said. (“Perogi” sounded like something that could explode if I pushed a button in my shoe).

We were in Ft. Myers, Florida, aka “Vegas South”. On Saturday Pam and her mom decided to go to an enormous outlet mall close to their house. “Close”, to retired 70 year olds means 57 miles. Her dad and I went along for reasons we still don’t understand. Check out this picture of a map of the place:

Slightly smaller than Coronado Island. The women flitted from store to store, leaving Pam’s dad and me to sit on a bench and count the hours until we could have lunch.

Here’s a sad picture:
The ladies in the pink and hot pink are Pam and her mom. The gentleman in the foreground is Pam’s dad. Notice the lively spring in his step as we all joyously bounce around the mall enjoying holiday shopping in 89 degree weather.

Here’s a shot of the fountain where, after three hours and no food, I tried to drown myself.

Turns out that’s not easy in 6 inches of water.

Sometime when we were very close to death by boredom, a guy pushing a cart comes close to the bench to which our butt skin had become grafted, and set up this hot dog cart, which provided a fascinating diversion. In half an hour, this dude sold 28 hot dogs at 3 bucks a pop. I’m not saying we were bored, but of the 28, we counted 13 with just ketchup, 7 with ketchup and mustard, 3 with nothing on them and 5 with ketchup, mustard and something that smelled like rotting cabbage. We think it was in some past life, sauerkraut.

Sometime near midnight, the girls were finished. We loaded their purchases into the Ryder truck we’d rented and went home. Pam’s dad bought nothing all day. I bought a Starbucks and 3 pairs of white socks.

Love, Jerry